Archive for August 14, 2010

Rae’s Magic Mirror: Some Self-Improvement Plans Require a Jump-Start

   In the winter of 1996 I tracked down Rae and Anita, two girlfriends I’d known since fourth grade but had been out of touch with for years. We decided to reunite at Rae’s home in Altmonte Springs, Florida, a suburb of Orlando. I was positively elated. After a thirty year lapse, I’d have a chance to see my two dearest childhood chums again. “We can have our own Homecoming,” I thought. “Shoot; we can have a slumber party!” 

But my mood threatened to plummet when I considered how my weight had soared since I’d last seen them both. The whole poundage issue had been an up and down struggle for me over the decades. Recently the yo-yo had rebounded and I’d let bad habits reclaim me – body and self-image. Yet at forty-something, weird things were happening inside my head. I mean, I was getting really comfortable with the notion that it is quite acceptable to have a mid-life cushion. Or two. 

In fact, before I got news of the reunion, I’d been inching toward becoming certifiably delusional. After all, didn’t that subtle slap, slap, slap of upper thigh flesh sound refreshingly like a gentle tide lapping at a sandy shore? And wasn’t it possible that my True Metabolism was simply waiting until menopause to spontaneously kick into gear and at last propel me toward a permanent weight-control plateau? 

Yes, bod-related self-deception was coming far too easily – even though my foot actually required a bootstrap tug before I could lasso it with my pantyhose, and no, I couldn’t really ignore the mother lode of cellulite cloaking any remnant of that muscle formerly known as the abdominal. I was simply getting craftier at justifying these extra handfuls of Me. I mean, one never knew. I might just need an emergency fuel supply someday if … we had another horrendous Minneapolis winter … and … I became … house-trapped by … giant snow drifts … and … um, gargantuan icicles. It could happen. 

So, after that brief flash of panic, I settled back into a cozy blanket of apathy, rationalized the dickens out of the fact that my hip and waist measurements were now interchangeable, and told myself that my old friends wouldn’t care a whit. They’d still see me as that lanky adolescent they’d known eons ago, and surely they’d accept me no matter what condition I was in,or out of.  (more…)

August 14, 2010 at 4:27 pm Leave a comment

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